Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Loving in Vain

       I laid upon the bed, naked and exposed for anyone to see. Laying upon my side, the tears had long since dried. I knew he wouldn't ever be coming back from the start. Once he got me here and took what he wanted, he wouldn't return to this place. Why would he want to be aware of an old toy's poor condition? Selfishness is a commonly familiar trait of all humans. I had been selfish, too. My heart beat too fast when I saw his smile. 
      "How tiresome," I muttered, turning over to lay on my back. I stared up at the ceiling, moving a hand to lay on my head in a melodramatic pose. What thought had led me so foolishly come to this? The idea that maybe seeing his bare flesh would somehow make him clear to me, closer to me, was the dumbest idea I've had in years. How many more times would I be lied to, betrayed, or thrown away? I was the definition of "broken goods".
      "You set yourself up for this," my mind told me. 
      "I thought maybe... it could have been... it may be different. There was the possibility of it... at least," I responded to my mind's inner chiding. Tears started rolling down, even though I tried my best to be strong. 
      "GOD DAMNNIT! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST BE STRAIGHT WITH ME!?" I screamed, slamming my fist into the soft mattress. Soon, all I could hear was my pathetic sobbing into the pillow next to me. I raised my head to glare into the mirror. What a wreck I looked like; my hair a mess from the night's affair, my eyes swollen and red, my cheeks flushed. I sniffled, rubbing my eyes clear with my palms. 
       It's not like life isn't already hard enough. Misery was already a problem. Now he gave me a reason for my depression and low self-esteem. I laughed like it was some funny joke. He called himself a monster. He made it hard to disagree when he did things like this. I wasn't the first. I wouldn't be the last. "I wonder what that lover of his would say if she knew..." I trailed off. "Oh right, love is blinding. That's how I ended up here.  For someone so strong, you are terribly weak-willed." I growled the words at the mirror, my mouth feeling dry from all the crying. "Karma, will you refuse to take action again? Do I somehow deserve this? What did I do this time?" No response came. I pulled myself up, placing one arm on my knee while my other leg remained strenched out. I didn't even have the strength or desire to get up. Shutting my eyes, pain rolled through my chest with every pulse of my heart. 
       "He's wrong if he thinks I'll be here after all of this," my mind told me. My heart fluttered in it's reply. 
       With a deep sigh, I forced my body onto my feet, dragging them across the floor. With a soft groan, I leaned down and started to redress myself in the undergarments. "Love is evil too," I sneered clipping my bra across my shoulder blades. "I'm better off alone," I muttered, pulling on my jean's zipping them up. "If being delicate and fragile brings me this... if my kindness and emotions put me back in this place... if being this girl destroys me..." I stopped myself from saying I didn't want to be me. "No.. keep being yourself, girly. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
        I zipped up the hoody, popping up the hood. I used my hair to hide my eyes as I opened the motel's room, wincing at the the bright sunlight outside. Closing the door with a click, I glided down the stairs with my broken grace. My hands shoved deeper into my pockets as I traveled down the stairs into the big, cold and cruel world. God spared no kindess while the angels laughed at my ignorance. God had to be a sadist, taking a sick pleasure for making such a thing as "loving in vain". 

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Yea, Though I Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death...

    The chains rattled as he pulled me forward. My tired brown eyes stared down, my bare legs trembling from the endless walking forced upon me. The moon's light glittered from the broken shards upon the ground. The blood from my feet painted the walkway. With each weary step more fragments of glass crushed and slipped into my soles. If I wasn't so numb, a whimper may have escaped my lips. Not one tear was shed. He pulled the chain harder across my neck, causing me to stumble. Landing forward, I let my body collapse onto the pieces, feeling them sinking into me slowly. I lifted my head up, blood dripping from my mouth. I stared up at him. His hand tightened around the leash as we made eye contact.
     "Why do you do this to yourself?"
     "If I had the answer for that, I wouldn't be here. Why stop when we are half-past dead, anyways?" I replied with a small chuckle.
     He stared blankly at me, before raising his head towards the moon. A laugh escaped his mouth while his eyes glistened, shaking his head.
     "Looks like rain. Get up."
     "Are you alright?" I asked.
     "No."
     I spat blood to the side, wiping my mouth only to cut my lips with more shards embedded in my hand. I slowly ran my tongue across the wound. The strong iron taste pleased me.
     "Everything is still the same," I told him, rising to my feet in a careful manner. My naked body was dressed with my own blood and broken pride. The ensemble was completed and decorated with his tactfully placed broken heart and soul.
     "It is as if you purposely wanted destruction. If this is what you desire, then whatever makes you happy." We continued through the valley of shame and regret. I muttered under my breath, "Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Ura

      The demon wandered through the destroyed city. This had been his doing, to everything Rosalina had cherished and loved. Guilt crept up on him as he searched through the rubble for the entrance of his cave. Was he really returning to the cage he had endlessly wanted out of? It was safe and familiar there. His claws tore away at the stone. There was no need to hide his true appearance anymore. He stopped for a moment as he heard the rumble of thunder above him.
     “This probably would be a poet’s dream according to what Rosalina taught me,” he told himself. “They like the dramatic environment changes to fit the character’s mood.” He scowled realizing he was talking about her. “What do I care? She is gone now,” he convinced himself, continuing his dig.
She wouldn’t come running after him this time, not after what he had done. He didn’t know it was wrong… no, that was a lie. He knew adultery was not something humans took lightly. Rosalina once told him about it. Why did it bother Rosalina so? Despite her displeasure he continued to devour them first sexually, then physically.
     “I don’t belong to that woman!!” he yelled, tossing a final rock to the side that revealed the entrance to his cave. He hopped down into the hole he had created.  The darkness startled him.  He had been blinded by her light; he wasn’t used to it being pitch black. He would learn to live in it again, wouldn’t he? For some reason, a ping of doubt struck him in his core. Pain seeped through what she had called “his heart.”
     “I don’t care. You mean nothing! You are a worm; a na├»ve fool! The only woman dumb enough to let me sink my fangs into! The only woman to speak…to me…of LOVE!!!”  He roared, slamming his hands down onto the ground, causing the rocks above him to roll and block the entrance. Now, everything was completely black. “She is nothing…” he whispered to himself.  Rosalina never came to mind during his sins. She wasn’t even a thought until she caught him in the act. Once she left… all he could think about was her.  

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Star Light Star Bright

Stars shine bright all over the universe, but no star shined brighter than his sparkling baby blue. While he was a dull red, her blue rays seemed to give him warmth even though they were galaxies apart. He never had a chance to speak to her.  In fact, he never knew if she could even see him. He figured she had a vast galaxy offering brighter stars to pick from than him. That still did not stop him from hoping one day, he would catch her eye. In all honesty, it didn't matter if she even saw him or not. All that he cared about was that he could see her every day.
The planets continued their pull around him, slowly revolving for centuries. Even as time went on, she seemed to glow brighter than the other stars. At first, he had thought he was just imagining this. After more contemplation, he started thinking that maybe his love was reaching out for him. The more he thought about it, the more excited he felt. He radiated with energy as he started to push himself forward toward her flashing blue light. He reached and reached closer to the brightening light until an endless black spot suddenly filled where her sparkling light should be.
He came to a halt, desperately looked at the empty space around him. No star shined like she.
“Alas!” he cried. “Where has my starlight gone?”

He gained no reply in return.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Rosalina & Ura

Rosalina dropped the dagger onto the forest floor, hands to her mouth at the realization of what she had just done.
"I-I-I..." she started while Ura arose from under the dead man. He let the body plop to the ground, spitting on it before his sharp eyes fell onto the girl who had fallen to her knees.
"He deserved it. Stupid demon hunters will never learn." His words were harsh on her ears.
"I didn't know what to do. I didn't want you to die but I didn't...I didn't... I never wanted to kill anyone!" she exclaimed, her hands tightening their grip over her chest. She took a step back in dismay as Ura took a step towards her. His annoyed expression grew more impatient with the cowering girl.
"If we don't leave now, this man's partner will attempt to kill us, as well." The girl shook her head quickly, placing her hands lightly onto the ground as she stared at the lifeless body.
"This would have never happened if I didn't let you out of that cage..." she spoke but winced once his hand went flying above her.  She heard the snapping of a tree behind her and the thunderous sound it made as it fell.
"YOU'VE HAD PLENTY OF TIMES TO KILL ME! DON'T YOU DARE BLAME THIS ON ME!" he snarled. The animal-like nature seeped through with his growl. His bared his sharp teeth in front of her face. She didn't dare look away from his eyes. It felt like he stared into her soul and debated whether he should eat it then or later. He moved his fist back. She shut her eyes tightly, ready to face the demon's wraith. It never came as he pushed her over and she landed on her back against the mossy ground. She swallowed hard as he moved his head down and rested it on her chest. "I will follow you to the end... but don't you dare blame it on me," he breathed roughly. Her eyes widened at his words. "It is your fault. You led me from my darkness in that cage."
"And you guided me into darkness," she whispered, moving her hands to hold him. He avoided her arms, pulling her up from the ground and dragging her away from her sin.
"Don't even start. Hurry. We have no time for this. It is making me feel ill."

"But you started..." she began speaking, but she stopped as his eyes glared at her.  "Let us run…" she muttered as tears ran down her face. She could have sworn she saw the smallest glint of a smile on his lips as he turned to face forward and continued away from it all.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

News Update, High School Done. More Stories,Poems, and Perhaps Lyrics! Coming Soon!

So I graduated high school guys! Now that the most chaotic time of school is out, I will be able to post a lot more short stories and poems. For my wonderful readers who have been with me through this long gap of my absence,  I will try to bring to you some great stories, poems, and lyrics.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

My Eyes

I will no longer let my fears rip me down. 
My eyes see clear through crystal tears.
 If I am held down from my goals...then I am not me. 
Who do you think you are to dominate me? 
I am no one's whipping post. 
Break my legs and wings... I will crawl to my salvation and let you live in an artificial world. 
Enjoy abstract concepts of beauty, but know that in the back of your mind...
 Will be the my haunting whispers of "Evermore".