Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Brain Vs. Heart

    To Journal,
         I've told myself time and time again not to love her. I have logically went through all the negatives and positives. She's not logical like me, only following pure and blind emotion. Why can't she just think like me? Everything has it's explanation, I mean, there is always reason behind everything. Curiosity will continually make new discoveries, and eventually everything will be figured out. 
        She tells me that I am not healthy for her, that I need to relax and have fun. What I find fun is pointing out inconsistencies and flaws. Everything has it's flaws. People just get so defensive for no reason. Flaws and inconsistencies; that makes up for everything human. Even when she tells me to stop, I look at her and pick her a part. 
        Everything she says. Her words are always changing. Her sides, her views; everything to her is situational. Can't she just stay still for one second and stay with a solid point of view? Always worried about what others think, and how others will feel if she says something. Every day for her, is walking on glass. She says this isn't why she's depressed.. but let's face it. You can't please everyone. That kills her inside. It makes no sense. She is perfectly illogical, but I love her so. 
        I wish I could explain things better for her, but I always say the wrong thing. I say things without even realizing it would hurt her. I stab her every day with the things I say, but they aren't even aimed to hurt her. I try to express my thoughts, but just metaphorically kill her. That hurts me the most, and you know what? It makes me think she deserves someone way better. Sometimes I wish I could stop talking with my brain.. and talk with my heart.                   -From Male of Brain.

  To Diary, 
       I can't stand him! He makes me so angry and frustrated! He has to over-think everything; making connections and diagnosing everything I say. My mind tells me to leave him, but my heart bleeds at the thought. Why must his mind work like a robot? Why can't he be more sensitive and emotional like me? I can't live in a world where mystery is destroyed. There are thousands of things that I would like to think will remain a secret; but with his ideal, the world will become dull and boring. 
       He tells me that I have a roller-coaster of emotions. He says I need to take a step back and think about things before letting my emotions react. He tells me that emotions are all just a state of mind. I don't believe that. If that were the truth, then why do our emotions create aches and pains in other body parts? He tells me to calm down, but all that does is raise the emotion I am feeling. 
       He's constantly pointing out everything that doesn't make sense. Lots of times, it's where my emotion is coming from. Why am I sad when there is no reason for it? Why are you mad at me when I clearly said sorry? Emotions don't just go away because you say some sweet things or apologize for something. When I'm hurt, I am clearly so. He's not sensitive to me, or holds his tongue to let me cry once and awhile. When he does though, no one else can make me feel so much better.
        I wish I could tell him why I act the way I do. I wish I could make him understand why I get so annoyed with him, sometimes. He asks why is he the one always making the changes. He doesn't know the past pains and the negative thoughts that I have finally gotten the strength to fight so that I can live another day. He doesn't understand how I have kicked down any thoughts of escaping reality, and leaving him, along with the rest. I hurt him out of a moment of pure rage. My tongue slashes out at him and slices him into pieces only because of an emotional moment. I try to explain myself, but the feelings just overwhelm me and drown him, along with me. What hurts me the most, is the feeling that I can't take this anymore. Sometimes I wish I could stop feeling with my heart... and start feeling with my brain.                                             ~From Female of Heart.

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Question: What kind of person are you? Someone of the Brain or Someone of the Heart?

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