Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Cinderella's Real Story

(This one is for Miranda LoPresti. Thank you for the writing picture request! You guys can comment requests as well!)
          I wouldn't say the fairy tale start like "once upon a time" would fit me. I am nothing like those princesses who need others to come to my rescue. I have been alone, always alone. I have no allies and thousands of enemies. I guess you could call me a lone wolf. Want to know the part that is most ironic? My name is Cinderella, just like that one story. Another secret, I am her. 
         Now let me clarify a few things, I was never a servant to my step-mother. She died a miserable old hag, years before I was even ten. Another thing, I never had step-sisters. My step-mother never had a man... and my father had to marry her. That's how the times work here. The eldest daughter gets married and when she dies, the next eldest replaces her. So on and so forth. The truth is I was enslaved by the ogres and was their servant. Big and green-colored ogres, filled with rotten teeth and coming to the size of ten feet tall. 
          I am a monster exterminator. I kill monsters for a living as my father did before me, from harmless to the most dangerous. You, I'm sure, can figure out how excited the ogres were when they caught me. How did they catch me? Ask the Prince. Oh yeah, you can't. 
          That sissy, obnoxious, brat of a man totally gave us away. He screamed when he saw one and everything went down hill from there. Now, I'm not saying that I didn't care that the monster devoured him. Let's just say I didn't shed any tears. Long live the princess. 
           Now, I scrubbed the floors for the ogres and then some, if you know what I mean. Disgusting creatures they are, and I wasn't thrilled with being there. I had to escape. How I did it was quite simple. While cleaning, I seduced an ogre. I told him that he could have me, but I wanted it to be outside, where everyone could see. Yes, horrific. One thing to keep in your thoughts, ogres are both very, very stupid and very, very slow. Once he brought me outside, I booked it. He didn't have a chance to catch up to me. On to my next mission, which was at the ball. 
            Another fact: I never had a fairy godmother. I don't know where people got that idea from. I happened to know a witch. Witches aren't as evil as everyone makes them out to be. They only have an odd habit of talking strange. They say things that an average human would think is evil, but they are just crazy. Which one is worse? That I can't answer.
            This witch I know gave me a gown and armor in one. With a thanks, I headed in my pretty dress to the dance. Another tidbit: That man that I'm suppose to marry in the story? He's a dragon in disguise. The same witch gave the dragon a pendant to look human. Now, if you guys think I would marry a dragon, you must have forgotten I'm a monster killer.
            I entered the ball, all eyes on me. I was well known within the kingdom. The prince seemed to squirm. I walked right up to him and pulled the amulet off. At first the knights came at me, but when the prince turned into a giant lizard with razor sharp teeth, they all backed off. I slayed the dragon after a small battle. It wasn't as hard as it normally would be because the dragon barely had any room to move. He tried to escape, but with his mind distracted on trying to get out, I had an easy target to hit. 
            After killing the dragon and walking away, I did drop something. It wasn't that stupid glass slipper. I mean, that thing obviously would break so let's get realistic here. I dropped the amulet. I hadn't realized until I was home.  I didn't care about it, but the witch made me promise I would destroy it. So, instead of people coming to me, I went to them. I entered the knight's keep. That was were they brought the dragon to use pieces of it to form armor and weapons.
            The head knight did not keep me waiting for long. Now, this woman was gorgeous. Oh yeah. One little detail I forgot to mention. I'm gay. All those stories about wanting a man and what not, all lies. The woman gave me the amulet and along with that, I stole her heart with my charming words. 
              I live in the keep now. I destroyed the amulet like I promised. I married the woman of my dreams. Last but not least, I still go monster hunting. Now, this is the true story. You should go spread this tale. I'm sick of all the men asking me to wash their clothes and cook their food. 
Picture's Creator: http://pinkabsinthe.deviantart.com/ (I love her stuff)

Question: Which story do you like better, the Disney version or my version?


  1. Definitely like your version better! Your Cinderella's got more guts and backbone to her! :D

  2. That's what I was going for! Thank you :)


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