Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Forever? Never


Tears leave streaks
Eyeliner leaks
Pain sings
Lies stings
Hard to accept
Secrets kept
She wonders why
He couldn't cry
When the words fall
And sound calls
On deaf ears
For many years
Breakup hurts
Pain asserts
Marriage forever
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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2013 at 1:40 AM

    humm... Cute?
    It's sad and messy overall, but "Her thoughts, never" kinda gave the whole thing away.
    It's a nice one. Really Cute

    ReplyDelete
  2. lightsshineonSeptember 11, 2013 at 11:43 AM

    I don't quite follow what your saying.. sad and messy overall?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2013 at 8:54 PM

    I mean the tone, the emotional state of the whole poem is sad and messy, that's what you trying to do, right?

    Or were you trying to be cute? I don't know how to describe it, sorry.

    I think you did a great job on that, is just something's not right with the last sentence AND the picture. It really makes me smile, lol. Maybe I interpreted it in a different way, we all do, especially on poems.

    I do not mean the poem itself is sad and messy. Sorry for the confusion.

    Keep up the great work! Looking forward to your other creations.

    ReplyDelete
  4. lightsshineonSeptember 11, 2013 at 9:00 PM

    Ahh okay! I was thinking of tone to be sad and messy. You have it right, haha. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete

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